Let me start by saying this: I detest Wal-Mart. I literally would rather run a marathon with a Lego in my shoe than to take a single step into a Wal-Mart. Please keep this in mid as you read the following...
'Twas the night before Christmas,
And all through the house,
The LuLaCult was stirring,
And hiding from Mickey Mouse.
Their "game-changer" hadn't worked,
They'd let everyone down,
They had holes in their asses,
And everyone wore frowns.
And what to our wondering eyes should appear?
But a pair of leggings with high-looking reindeer,
There were leggings with patterns so ugly, it hurt.
And faces of the "layered-one" covering a skirt.
I thought to myself,
"no way in hell I am wearing those."
So I walked my ass to Wal-Mart,
And didn't care that I froze.
I refused to wear patterns that caused my family shame,
And laughed that LLR said they could change the game.
I would rather wear leggings from the Wal-Mart rack,
Than risk Santa Claus seeing my exposed crack.
The Holiday Collection ruined Christmas this year,
But like the Titanic, the end is drawing near."
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